Fig Newtons are not as popular as they used to be. I call strike 3 on society. First, people have turned on Nick Cage? Thought I couldn’t handle it there. Next, Cookie Monster is a fucking vegetarian? He only ate cookies god damn-it he was already a fucking vegetarian! There are no such things as meat cookies. However … the thought is intreaging … and I may mix my next steak with some sugar cookie mix…oven it..eat it. Roll, in it? Anybody? Just me? Fine more meat cookies for the old badass.
Then Fig Newtons dropped in popularity! Jesus Hansen Christ! Have you tried one? Lately or ever…? If it’s never get your head out your ass … stop eating garbage and go get some. I don’t care how you get some….just get some! (i stole that from a sweet Texas Car dealer ad)
Like all food not as good looking in actual picture form. But looks better than they do on the exit trip! HA get it..nuge nuge, wink wink…shit joke!
I had 7 before I could take the picture...got a problem with that? Yeah, your right I didn't take that pic..but I did eat 7 fig newtons...okay 19.
It is a delicious fruit wrapped in cake! Holy Hell! Almost as enticing as Meat Cookies. Or Snicker Sandwiches! Did your mom ever say, “hey kid, eat some fruit…and you can have cake after” Wanna bake her noodle (not a sexual phrase I promise) Just say this “mommy! BOTH!”. Works every time. Your food pyramid more like a square? Just waffles? Well mine is immaculate. 47 servings of fruit. All Figs with Newton wrappers.
EVEN RACCOONS LIKE THEM! WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?
If this doesn't make you smile then you hate fig newtons and raccoons. And are the Devil.
Billy Nye- “Badass?”
Me: “Yes resident scientist?”
Billy Nye – “Have you ever had a regular fig?” You know the Fruit?”
Me – “No, don’t be fucking silly. What is this? Crazy Town America?”
Enough with science for the day.
I am so glad the internet exists. This last picture just fell in my lap. Meat Cookies? Nah, I’ll take some Meat Newtons Please! OHHH BOY! I am so excited to see your face when you see this next picture. Just don’t look in the tree outside your house. Promise I am not there….promise.
Ha! yep. Somebody is a jeanius! HA the internet is incredible. My folks missed out for sure.
Wow my Bucket List is actually complete. I saw a raccoon eating a Fig Newton. Wait one more entry on my Bucket List. See the Bucket List. Nice, tonight is gonna be sweet, Meaty Cake filled figs and Jack Nicholson flirting with Morgan Freeman.
Time has come to say bye. Bye.
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Awesome Song of the Day # 108
Electric Light Orchestra
Evil Woman
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MONSTER AWESOMENESS: EL CHUPACABRA!
Posted in Aliens, Animals, Awesome, Dork, Humor, Monsters, Nature, Science, Stuff, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog with tags Animals, Broken Social Scene, El Chupacabra, Mexico, Monsters, Mythical, Science has gone crazy, Social Commentary, Treach on February 25, 2010 by tsandaThe Goat Eater. The Mexican addition to the world of real animals that only crazy unemployed drunk people see. They are dog hybrids who eat… well goats. Maybe the occasional cow if they are feeling feisty, they also love lemonade and pop rocks. Fact. It is illegal to hunt them with crossbows but legal to hunt them with dynamite.
Favorite “proof” photo ever after the space:
Yep, thats it. I think I also see a big foot and sinbad.
I didn’t realize getting proof was so easy anymore. At least the loch ness monster was an actual stick in an actual lake, that kinda looked like a monster. This photo straight up looks like exactly what we are looking at, bushes and a rocks. I’ve got my camera on auto snaps a lot setting. I’ve already seen a martian, a werewolf and atleast 5 El Chupacabras outside my house around my walk way.
Please take some time to review this amazing cover story that an actual El Chupacabra decided to tear through. They are shy….don’t like all this publicity. One just tore through my computer. Rear Terror is here. Another fact.
Please train your eyes to the bottom corner, "SCIENCE OUT OF CONTROL!" With a picture of a black guy. I really really want to read that story.
Yep, if you looked closely that is a movie starring Treach. Who was in Naughty By Nature. And yes I have seen it, and it is as good as you think it is. Move over Forrest Gump and chocolates… because life is like a box of El Chupacabras, you DO know what your going to get. Death and eaten face. For some reason it takes place on a boat. Hollywood is awesome. I am going to make a space movie that takes place in an elementary school starring a llama.
But watch out Texas and Arizona. With the flood of illegal immigrants due to lack of work. A lot of illegal goats are coming into this country to be goat herded illegally. Which means a shit ton of Illegal El Chupacabras are coming over to eat them. Sooner or later a lot of mythical creatures from the great US of A will be complaining that the El Chupacabras are stealing all their work. Classic social commentary people.
This post was dedicated to Marc. Enjoy more Africa time. They don’t however have El Chupacabras. They do however have real animals that will murder you instantly. ENJOY!
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Awesome Song of the Day #106
Broken Social Scene! NEW SINGLE!
WORLD SICK
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