Archive for the Uncategorized Category

FURRY ALIEN AWESOMENESS: EWOKS!

Posted in Aliens, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, comedy, Humor, star wars, Uncategorized on January 18, 2011 by tsanda

EWOKS! I KNOW RIGHT!  I say that shit way to much.  Nobody sounds like a bigger idiot than when they say… “I know, Right!?”  It is the universal, “I have nothing interesting to add to the conversation, but I still want to say stuff at you”, and I say that garbage all the time.  Isn’t saying I know and Right really the same thing? They are both confirmers ( actual vocab word ((well in my mind))(((where I am a volcano surfer))))(((((I know right?))))))(((((what the fuck am I talking about))))))) Why so many ))))))), I dont know, a professor told me to do it. They are usually smart.

But ewoks, the important stuff, are cute and deadly. Most animals are 1 or the other.  Ninjas = cute, Ebola = Deadly.  My neighbor = deadly, my rosey cheeks (ass) = cute.  Ewoks blow up  AT-ST Chicken Walkers.  I may have no idea what a comma is, but I definitely know what a Chicken Walker is.  I assume it will soon be a fucking sweet rap song. Do the chicker walker… hmmm maybe not… I gotta work on my rap game.

Ewoks

They lull you in with the fur. Then stab you in the balls with pointy sticks.

Though they can’t stab a robot in the balls, because Robots don’t have balls.  So Rd2d can just talk shit all he wants.  ”Beep Boop Beeep Beep Boop”…Which is R2D2 for go fuck yourself.  R2D2 is such a jerk!

A conversation between an ewok and a r2d2.

Yub Yub?

Beep Boop.

Eyyachi yub yub…

Beep Boop!

Yuuuuuubbbb?

Beep.

All I ever want to do is go to that awesome tree top party the Ewoks have every-time Return of the Jedi ends.  That party would be way lamer if they lost the battle for Endor.  A lot of storm troopers barbecuing Ewoks and Rancors running around eating their cats.

I bet some slow cooked St. Louis Ewok would be so tender and juicy.

The moral of the story.  Ewoks are my boys, but if push comes to shove, those cats gonna get eaten.

Do you know what song is playing at that party?

AWESOME SONG OF THAT DAY #148

SNAP!

POWER

Ewoks will attack and you WILL want that…because they are soooo fluffy.

 

THE WORLD IS FUCKED… AND SUNCHIPS ARE GROSS.

Posted in Uncategorized on October 5, 2010 by tsanda

I get most of my important news from what is trending on Yahoo.  Which is “news” that happened early this week and the 9 people who still use yahoo are just getting around to hearing about.  But SunChips? Why the shit would that trend… and seriously, who eats SunChips?  I am pretty sure if you baked a turd and sprinkled it with cheddar you would have something that tastes better than SunChips.  I mean, to each their own, but I am not into turds.  Well, I have to qualify that statement, turds are hilarious.  In case you are not familiar with SunChips they did this huge ad campaign ( I have no idea how they can afford that either, you have to sell product to advertise.)  With a decomposing bag!

It shows the bag and it disappears.  It decomposes because it is made with plants! My brain doesn’t understand that, but sweet!

But ohhh wait, Americans are complaining about something… Big fucking surprise.

http://detnews.com/article/20101005/BIZ/10050396/1001/rss21

Ohh wait reality check we are Americans and we hate the environment.  But we love our noise free chip eating.  The bags make to much noise? Are you shitting me?  You know what else makes tons of noise while I try and eat chips?

Those aren’t discontinued.

This is the smallest change and we can’t live with it.  Windmills are too ugly and ruin the skyline?  You know what ruins the skyline?

Skyscrapper

Yea much better than clean air.

People, the point is that if we can’t make a few sacrifices we are gonna F this planet in the A faster than you can bake a turd with cheddar cheese on it.

I will get off my high horse, because I am part of the problem too, and that horse is stoned out of his brains and needs a rest.

Since your brain probably hurts from reading this, let me soothe it.  And by me I mean kells and by soothe it I mean sex it.

Awesome Song of the Day #135

R. Kelly – ECHO

The whole song is worth listening to.

Just to review.  Pretty sure he is having free sex with a hooker.  He gave her some present that he has no idea what it is,  ”whatever it is put it on,” he is a gracious host, he gives her time to eat something and wash her face (which is funny since we are talking about R Kelly) and he is yoodeling in front of the Swiss Alps.  I am also pretty sure he thinks the Aurora Borealis is in Switzerland. Greatest video ever.

ATTENTION!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 14, 2010 by tsanda

3-4 Loyal readers.  Thanks for coming.  I am going to do some rebranding.  No, that sounds way to technical and smart, and I honestly kinda know what that means but couldn’t intelligently explain it to a blind guy.  He would think I was talking about Nacho’s, yea they are plural got a problem?.  I am going to be changing my profile and format.  Just a tweak, calm down baby girl it is okay. Pretty much same material but I will be adding some things I hate to the awesome/rad things and some home drawn cartoons, cause, well, damn their fun! Me, paint and 20 minutes… well its just wonderful.  Here is what I did this morning..untill I realized that some asshole already took Mental Diarrhea!!! Fuck head hasn’t used it in a year either! BOOO!

It represented my home. My moat. My Shark. And my draw bridge. RIP Castle w/ fireworks in the background.

It was going to be my logo, maybe.  Just a little thing I whipped together.  NBD.

Stop clapping already!

Serious Business on hand.

Do I go with Mental Diarrhea anyway? I say no.  The reason I am leaving the AWESOMENESS game is its saturated already! I am feeling Radical… did some quick google searches virgin territory for the most part, so it is ripe for me to ruin.

possible names or call signs if I were in top gun.

RAD ISN’T JUST A WORD

WHERE CAN I GET SOME HOTDOGS?

YOU SAY TOMATO, I SAY RADICAL.

RAD BY DAY, RAD BY NIGHT.

RAD BACKWARDS IS DAR.

HAVE YOU SEEN MY PANTS?

MAMA SAID KNOCK ME OUT?

I NEED SOME VOTES OR HELP OR SOMETHING! OR I WILL JUST DO IT ON MY OWN AND IT WILL KICK ASS SO WHATEV.

PEACE SON.

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