Archive for the Stupid Category

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KITTY NO!

Posted in Animals, Awesome, awesome song of the day, blog, comedy, Dork, happiness :), Humor, Internet Photographs, Pictures, Stupid with tags , , , , , , , on September 26, 2011 by tsanda

Sometimes I just search google and yahoo images for sweet pictures that get my creative juices flowin. I find that the internet pretty much has two main uses.

1. The obvious.  Porn.  Boobs and vaginas with dicks around them.

2. Adorable kitties and puppies.

Which is fine with me.  I love having titty jobs as my computer background and I rub out so much to I can Haz cheezburger.  Life is good for ole me.

But I lost my arousement today when I saw this “adorable” photo.

KITTY NO!

Somebody needs to punch that cat away from that candle.  Your fur is so soft and dry that it will just explode into a tiny mushroom cloud of cute fireball and your owner’s house will smell terrible!  Needless to say nobody likes hairless cats.

I do.

Of course you do Balkey from Perfect Strangers.  Jeez say it once say it a million times.  Foreigners!

See. Ewww. Fucking monster. Probably rape you if it could.

 

Now what about real cats?

I've got an idea. Take Phantom of the Opera. Make it suck. Cats. Done. Probably also equally likely to rape you.

You know what I love? Dogs and little kids that get the beauty of Rocky III.

No mesh half shirts? Half assed re-creation. Oh wait, that dog is eating that kid? Perfect 10.

Bear Portraits?

Bear Portrait

Ahhh Old Clemons. I boxed him to death. What a good friend he was. Good sport about the whole me punching him to death thing.

You ever start something and have no idea how the end happened? Where did the bear portrait come from you say? The internet.

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Awesome Song of The Day #161

The Psychedelic Furs

Love My Way

Holy Shit. Whoever the 11 people are on youtube are that don’t like this video better watch out for when I ram my car into your house…. Just Sayin.

3 Comments »

IRAN AWESOMENESS: THE OLYMPIC SYMBOL IS A RACIST!

Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, comedy, Dork, News, Stupid on March 1, 2011 by tsanda

It is about time Iran got up in arms about all the abuse the world heaps on them.  I mean can’t a tyrannical backwards nation get a little respect! They just want to hate Jews and Americans in peace… and by peace I mean with killings.  I always thought Iran was misunderstood… like the Last Samurai.  Tom Cruise wasn’t the last samurai, Ken Wantanabe was.  Iran isn’t crazy, they just hate and want to kill people who aren’t them.  Is that sooo nutz!? You should read my diary, kill the mail man this and murder the milk man that.  No big deal.

Now the Iran is trying to boycott the 2012 summer Olympics in England because the flag logo is …. a racist… seriously.  The flag logo, so I heard from Charlie Sheen, said that Iranians are bad drivers and bad tippers.  I’ve heard of flags being sexist, but never racist.  They are just old, thats how old flags talk. Old flags don’t mean to be racist they just read too many editions of Good Old Times Magazine.  Which I know about because I have previously received editions for Christmases from my grandfather… that and beenie weinies.  You know the Good Old Times… when people were white and clothes covered 95% of you body, even when swimming.  So lets lay off the flag a bit, it is a product of it’s surroundings.  Flag factories are hot beds of hate.  Susan B. Anthony was a bitch I heard ( I bet nobody has ever called Susan B. Anthony a bitch before, except for George Washington when she stood him up for a date, you didn’t know history time was happening simultaneously). Lets see what all the hub bub is about.

London Olympics 2012

Holy shit that logo just called me a cracker!

Really? The only thing that logo is racist to is anybody whose race is graphic designers.  I’m pretty sure Microsoft Paint vomited that design after a night of heavy drinking.  What does Microsoft paint drink?  Nothing actually, I mean to say after huffing paint. Easy mistake.  Iranians say that it looks to much like ZION.  Zion? When did Jamaica get involved in this dispute? Damian Marley is gonna be pissed that Iran is dissing Zion.  I am no math major but is Zion spelled Zoir?  I don’t see it.  Maybe Iran is crazy.  Who even cares? Hollywood already told me via John Cusack that the world will have ended by this time anyways.  So I think it is much ado about nothing.  Lets all have a picnic.  Iran you’re not invited.  Zion you are. Or Zior which ever gets the evite.

Bye

Out

Salutations

Beep Boop Beep Boop (robot good bye)

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Awesome SONG! of the DAY! #153

(please) Don’t Blame Mexico

The Protocol

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1 Comment »

SUNDAY AWESOMENESS: THE SUPERBOWL IS OVER!

Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, comedy, Dork, Humor, Sports, Stupid on February 7, 2011 by tsanda

You thought I was going to spend 10 pages hyperventilating over the Superbowl and all its glory.  Nope.  I only hyperventilate on certain circumstances and I don’t see 2 flights of stairs anywhere near me.

I like the Superbowl, but it only really means 1 thing to me.  I can now get stuff done on Sundays.  And by getting stuff done I mean Con Air.  I don’t mean hair curlers.  I don’t own hair doing stuff but if I did I would only buy Con Air supplies.

Con Air

AND IN PINK!?!? Sold. Time to get some curls.

You know who needed Con Air hair supplies?

Con Air Nick Cage

Obvious? Yes. Incredible? Yes.

Yup.  Just makes me smile.

Back to the Superbowl really quick.  I think I only like it so much because Super is such a weak adverbjective ( I never know which to use so I decided to invent a word that covers both, so luckily I am never wrong.)  Super? Do people even say Super anymore? Well, that movie was super.  Mom, your dinner was super.  That boat ride sure was super…  No, sounds retarded.  So many better way of saying the superbowl is the biggest thing on the planet! I vote for:

The Nut Tingle Bowl – it makes my nuts tingle.  But so does fresca so I might not be a good judge of nut tingling.

Bowlpocolypse – Ehh, the end of all bowls? I like this one… it sounds tough.  Like flexing near an explosion, or flexing so hard that something explodes.  Like the guy whose head I am squeezing in my arms.

Cow-a-bowl-gle – yea, only stupid people would like this one.

the Bowlocaust – ahh yes.  Offensive. Sure. Attention grabbing? Of course, and that is what the NFL needs.  It is getting stale with its censure ship and no hitting rules.  Time to get people talking.  I mean if there is anything I can do it is getting people to talk.  You don’t believe me?  64 people a day talk about this site.  No big deal.

Now I can sit back and get everything done on Sunday that I wanted to.  Wake, drink, eat, nap, swing dance and solve math divisions.

I don’t know if you knew that, but I am kinda a mather.  A guy who likes math.  I mean I love Good Will Hunting and that has lots of math in it.

Done

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #151

GROUPLOVE – COLOURS

fun, catchy, poppy.  Keeps that foot tapping.

 

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