Science tells us of magic force fields that bring stuff towards other stuff. I’ve seen examples such as space craft, other space craft, larger space craft and medium sized space craft.
Where did you learn that?
Physics.
Physics isn’t an answer. It is just a nonsensical response.
Physics doesn’t think so.
What?
Yup.
Jeez, Balkey from Perfect Strangers really doesn’t get MENSA level stuff does he. Probably because he is foreign….
Okay, so tractor beams are an awesome part of space. There is no gravity and people are always trying to fly away from you. Just because they don’t want to see what you have under that trench coat doesn’t mean they always have to light speed away from Dinner Parties like that. I have feelings too god damnit. Do you know how much time it takes to deep fry a predator? Let alone kill one??? I have to hire so many bums to go kill just 1 predator.
If you could have personal tractor beams that would be so awesome. I would tractor beam so many cupcakes into my mouth. I would tractor beam bees at other people. I bet they have a reverse switch. Bees or nails, or bees and nails. Nails would put holes in you that bees would fly into and sting and then lay eggs in and then the eggs would hatch and bee babies would stings your insides! Final Destination eat your fucking heart out. I would tractor beam my bed to me, then tractor beam a girl towards my junk… Wait a minute…. I think tractor beaming girls against their will towards your space privates is like space rape. I take that one back. Forgot I ever said that one. It never happened….
But I will totally beam some fucking cheezits up in this bitch. This bitch being my apartment, and up being in a straight line, because up is the ceiling and I am not a spider man. I got bit by a spider once and all I got was this hole in my face. I won’t go to the doctor yet, not until Obamacare is real. Who would pay for health care when I can maybe will get it for free in like 4 years. I’ve pretty much got life figured out.
Time to tractor beam you some music.
(vrooooommooomomomomvroomomoomomooooooo) = tractor beam noises.
AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #158
PETE AND THE PIRATES – CAN’T FISH
OUT!
MONSTER AWESOMENESS: EL CHUPACABRA!
Posted in Aliens, Animals, Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, Dork, Humor, Monsters, Nature, Science, Stuff with tags Animals, Broken Social Scene, El Chupacabra, Mexico, Monsters, Mythical, Science has gone crazy, Social Commentary, Treach on February 25, 2010 by tsandaThe Goat Eater. The Mexican addition to the world of real animals that only crazy unemployed drunk people see. They are dog hybrids who eat… well goats. Maybe the occasional cow if they are feeling feisty, they also love lemonade and pop rocks. Fact. It is illegal to hunt them with crossbows but legal to hunt them with dynamite.
Favorite “proof” photo ever after the space:
Yep, thats it. I think I also see a big foot and sinbad.
I didn’t realize getting proof was so easy anymore. At least the loch ness monster was an actual stick in an actual lake, that kinda looked like a monster. This photo straight up looks like exactly what we are looking at, bushes and a rocks. I’ve got my camera on auto snaps a lot setting. I’ve already seen a martian, a werewolf and atleast 5 El Chupacabras outside my house around my walk way.
Please take some time to review this amazing cover story that an actual El Chupacabra decided to tear through. They are shy….don’t like all this publicity. One just tore through my computer. Rear Terror is here. Another fact.
Please train your eyes to the bottom corner, "SCIENCE OUT OF CONTROL!" With a picture of a black guy. I really really want to read that story.
Yep, if you looked closely that is a movie starring Treach. Who was in Naughty By Nature. And yes I have seen it, and it is as good as you think it is. Move over Forrest Gump and chocolates… because life is like a box of El Chupacabras, you DO know what your going to get. Death and eaten face. For some reason it takes place on a boat. Hollywood is awesome. I am going to make a space movie that takes place in an elementary school starring a llama.
But watch out Texas and Arizona. With the flood of illegal immigrants due to lack of work. A lot of illegal goats are coming into this country to be goat herded illegally. Which means a shit ton of Illegal El Chupacabras are coming over to eat them. Sooner or later a lot of mythical creatures from the great US of A will be complaining that the El Chupacabras are stealing all their work. Classic social commentary people.
This post was dedicated to Marc. Enjoy more Africa time. They don’t however have El Chupacabras. They do however have real animals that will murder you instantly. ENJOY!
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Awesome Song of the Day #106
Broken Social Scene! NEW SINGLE!
WORLD SICK
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